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I write to feel

Disclaimers for my future Ted Mosby

12/3/2016

0 Comments

 
Kung kaya ko lang, hindi ko ipipikit ang mata ko kase gusto ka pa nun makita
Gusto ko lang magbigay ng paalala bago natin ito simulan
Paalala para hindi ka magulat at hindi ako magulat na bigla ka mawala
Paalala para sa mga bukas at kahapon
At lalo na sa ngayon
Paalala para lalo mokong makilala.
Bubuksan ko ang pintuan kung kakatok ka


Una, Madali akong masaktan
Kapag tinulak mo ako, madaling magpasa
Kapag nadapa ako, madaling magkagasgas
At hindi madaling maghilom
Iniipon ko ang lahat ng sakit hanggat kaya ko
Hanggang dumating ang araw na kusang sasabog ang lahat nilalaman nito
Sana magkasama natin lapatan ng lunas ang lahat ng galos natin, 
para hindi na maging isang galong problema na matatambak at magsisilbing pader na maghihiwalay sa ating dalawa.
Linisin natin kung meron pang natitirang sugat ng nakaraan.
Magpatawad tayo, 
para bukas, ako na lang at ikaw na lang ang may ari ng lahat


Pangalawa, Selosa ako. 
Nagseselos ako sa kabigan mo.
Nagseselos ako sa oras na kakain ng dapat sana ay oras natin. 
Nagseselos ako sa mga pangarap mo na hindi ako parte. 
Nagseselos ako sa yosi na lagi mong hinahanap mawala lang ng ilang minuto.
Nagseselos ako sa kung paano ka magkwento tungkol sa paborito mong laro 
Kung paano kuminang ang mata mo habang binabalikan ang oras na naipasok mo ang bola
Sana isang araw ganun din kuminang ang mata mo pag ako naman ang ikukwento mo sa kanila


Pangatlo, Hindi ako marunong ng gawaing bahay.
Hindi kita maipagluluto ng paborito mong adobo o gawing malinis ang kwarto.
Pagdating mo sa bahay, maiinis ka sa kalat. 
Sana maintindihan mong pinilit ko naman tlagang linisin ang dumi, 
pero hindi lahat nalilinis.
May mga bagay sa nakaraan ko na tila mantsa, na ang nais ko lang ay matanggap mo
Wala namang sinabi si tadhana na perpekto na ang babaeng kaharap mo
Pero sinu bang may nais ng perperkto?
Nakakaumay din ang sobrang tamis.


Pang-apat, Minsan sinasabi kong maayos ang lahat kapag nagtatanong ka kung may problema
Alam kong hindi ka manghuhula
Gusto ko lang minsan isipin na kilala mo na talaga ako
Na ang hindi ay minsan oo
Na ang oo ay minsan hindi
Hindi naman ito pagsubok, 
Maiintindihan mo din yan balang araw
Sa susunod alam kong magiging katulad na tayo ni b1 at b2


Madali lang naman akong basahin
Oo, gusto ko ng bulaklak
Gusto ko ng sorpresa
Ok lang na uminom ka kasama ang kaibigan mo. Walang BS
Pero mas ok sana kung naisip mong isama ako diba?
Gusto ko makilala ang kaibigan mo
Hindi ok na hindi nila ako gusto
Hindi ako mahilig sa mga aso. Pero diba sabi mo nga mahal, magiging close ko din sila pag lagi na ako sa bahay niyo.
Ayaw ko din sana pag usapan yung dati mong minahal,
pero kung kinukulit man kita at nagbabanggit ng tungkol sa kanya
Dahil lang minsan, hindi ko alam kung sapat na ba akong palitan sya
O kung napalitan ko na nga ba talaga?


Malalaman mo din ang ibig sabihin ng ok 
Ng ikaw bahala
Ng pagkunot ng noo
Ng pagngiti
Kung anung pinagkaiba ng selos at kulitan
At maiintidihan ko din lahat ng "hahaha" at "k" mo


Ngayon pa lang nagpapasalamat na ako sa pagmulat sa akin sa kamangmangan at kakulangan ko
Salamat madami akong natutunan
Salamat sa pagbigay ng oras
Salamat sa tiwala
Salamat sa pang unawa
Salamat sa pagaalala, wala na ang sakit ko
Salamat sa kung anuman pagmamahal ang binibigay mo ng walang hinihinging kapalit
Salamat, nakilala kita


Ngayon pa lang humihingi na din ako ng paumanhin sa mga kasalanan na maari kong magawa
Patawad dahil nalate ako sa date natin,
Traffic kase sa edsa
Patawad nakatulog ako habang nasa movie marathon
Pagod lang sa trabaho
Hindi rason yan mahal.
Kung kaya ko lang, liliparin ko ang kahabaan ng kalsada, makapunta lang ng maaga
Kung kaya ko lang, hindi ko ipipikit ang mata ko kase gusto ka pa nun makita
Wag ka mag alala
Pati panaginip ko
Okupado mo pa


Kaya future ted mosby, sabay tayong maglakbay sa malawak na mundo ng imahinasayon.
Kung san tayo lang ang tao
Kung san may pag asa at pwede tayo
Wag na tayo sa totoong buhay
Ayoko na ng bawal
Kalimutan na natin ang lahat ng disclaimers na yan
Tara! Andito lang ako.
Naghihintay
0 Comments

Inside the belly of a beast

2/18/2016

2 Comments

 
"Do you think that this will last?"
Inside the belly of a beast


 "Do u love me? "
 The question haunts her fairytale everyday
As it builds its momentum
And more questions remain


Like a princess picking flowers
She plucks each thought that crosses her mind
She transforms them into doubt
And created a hole instead of a heart


Inside the hole, there lives a ferocious beast
Who just wanted to be fed
Little by little it gnaws on her It ate on her remains
The beast grows strong, But deadens her


"Do you love me?"
"Do I make you happy?"
"Do you think that this will last?"
 The questions are a whirlpool now It clouds her eyes as she yells
 "I'll know the truth, for this, I vow"


She yearns what it means as they embrace
But her agile hands keeps looking for clues, As if his body is a maze
She longs to have the answer as they kiss,
But her serpentine tongue keeps searching for his every crevice


So when the day the beast got out
She looked for him and ripped his heart
To look inside, she believe, she will get her answer
 It got to beat only once
But she remembered what her name looks like
​inside his heart forever after
2 Comments

Boundless 

2/15/2016

0 Comments

 
Like, I'm already home. And I love you. 
Like, What did you do today? And I love you.
I was deleting old messages when I came across our first I love you
No fancy words.
No metaphors of how much you want to breathe me in
Just that. I love you.
So simple and easy it doesn't even need to be said.
It feels like an extension of our every sentence.
Unthinking in its cadence, it would leak at each turn of our conversation


 Like, I'm already home. And I love you.
Like, What did you do today? And I love you.


Now, it sounds like I am forcing you to say yes to something you don’t want to be a part of.
As if I am a warden to this jail cell I still call love.
How I was the one who've placed the lock on those shackles.
I can almost hear the grating sound screaming for freedom
But you still hide the bruises on your wrist with your false smile


And when, emboldened, I did ask if you still love me?
I would count the seconds before you answer
 Every second is a ticking time bomb of how soon this relationship will inevitably end.
Your indecisiveness is the only adhesive that keeps us together.


But I've already deciphered the meaning behind those eyes
I am repulsed that I am reduced to this beast who cannot let you go
I know that you only endure because you still feel obligated to make me better
How I used to have days when I sleep with my depression and you were the only reason I even leave my bed


But I won't let you pause your life to wait for me any longer
Please don’t be guilty that you're going to make me cry
There were far more days that the pebbles in my jar overflows and you are the reason why


Do not worry about this silly girl anymore
Let me unburden you, my love
I have left the keys behind the dying pot of plant we used to care for
There are just some things that we can't keep from dying
And this time our careless hands not only killed the plant but more


I have missed those unburdened I love you's
But by far I have missed your smiles more
Be boundless, my love.
I hope you smile for me one last time as you take the key and remove the chains


0 Comments

    JOANIRIS

    She decided to write on her sleeves. 

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