Inside the belly of a beast


 "Do u love me? "
 The question haunts her fairytale everyday
As it builds its momentum
And more questions remain


Like a princess picking flowers
She plucks each thought that crosses her mind
She transforms them into doubt
And created a hole instead of a heart


Inside the hole, there lives a ferocious beast
Who just wanted to be fed
Little by little it gnaws on her It ate on her remains
The beast grows strong, But deadens her


"Do you love me?"
"Do I make you happy?"
"Do you think that this will last?"
 The questions are a whirlpool now It clouds her eyes as she yells
 "I'll know the truth, for this, I vow"


She yearns what it means as they embrace
But her agile hands keeps looking for clues, As if his body is a maze
She longs to have the answer as they kiss,
But her serpentine tongue keeps searching for his every crevice


So when the day the beast got out
She looked for him and ripped his heart
To look inside, she believe, she will get her answer
 It got to beat only once
But she remembered what her name looks like
​inside his heart forever after

I was deleting old messages when I came across our first I love you
No fancy words.
No metaphors of how much you want to breathe me in
Just that. I love you.
So simple and easy it doesn't even need to be said.
It feels like an extension of our every sentence.
Unthinking in its cadence, it would leak at each turn of our conversation


 Like, I'm already home. And I love you.
Like, What did you do today? And I love you.


Now, it sounds like I am forcing you to say yes to something you don’t want to be a part of.
As if I am a warden to this jail cell I still call love.
How I was the one who've placed the lock on those shackles.
I can almost hear the grating sound screaming for freedom
But you still hide the bruises on your wrist with your false smile


And when, emboldened, I did ask if you still love me?
I would count the seconds before you answer
 Every second is a ticking time bomb of how soon this relationship will inevitably end.
Your indecisiveness is the only adhesive that keeps us together.


But I've already deciphered the meaning behind those eyes
I am repulsed that I am reduced to this beast who cannot let you go
I know that you only endure because you still feel obligated to make me better
How I used to have days when I sleep with my depression and you were the only reason I even leave my bed


But I won't let you pause your life to wait for me any longer
Please don’t be guilty that you're going to make me cry
There were far more days that the pebbles in my jar overflows and you are the reason why


Do not worry about this silly girl anymore
Let me unburden you, my love
I have left the keys behind the dying pot of plant we used to care for
There are just some things that we can't keep from dying
And this time our careless hands not only killed the plant but more


I have missed those unburdened I love you's
But by far I have missed your smiles more
Be boundless, my love.
I hope you smile for me one last time as you take the key and remove the chains